Last night, some of our (former) good friends, Ben, Lindsey, James and Callie, came by and hung out. I might or might not have had a little feud going with Former Friend Ben, but that might or might not be relevant to this story. So, this morning when I got up I noticed that I had a text on my phone. It was from Former Friend Ben, who told me to check my e-mail. So I did, and found a very sweet message, so I innocently thought, from them, the Four Former Friends. But, then there was a link to some pictures and videos….
Yep you saw it right. That’s hundreds of plastic forks stuck in our yard and hundreds of post-it notes on our car. Their videos only poured salt on our wounds….
Well, Danielle and I had other things to do this morning, so Bennett had to clean it all up. It took her an hour and a half, poor kid. She had to skip breakfast too. Bennett wants to know if you still feel like Champions, Former Friends?
Well well well. It looks like someone is trying to conjure up some sort of sympathy from the blog masses.
However, as everyone knows, there are two sides to every story, so I don’t even need to go into detail about the constant provoking and harassment I have received over the last few years of our (former) friendship. It is what it is though. Let it be known that I welcome with open arms whatever you think you can bring to the table.
Danielle, if you are reading this. I hope you know we tried to exert as much kindness as we could. We don’t want you to get thrown into this completely; however, you did marry the guy and because of that, there will have to be small consequences. As for your daughter, I am so thankful for her heart in her desiring to fulfill Exodus 20:12.
I know I have sadly created some enemies in this small endeavor (probably more than I ought to in light of the bias portrayed on this post, but I won’t mention that). It was a risk I was forced to take. To all of you objective viewers out there, know that there was plain motive in all this. I would NEVER prank an INNOCENT soul.
1) i second ben’s comments about there being two sides to every story and want to add that, like wicked witch of the west, sometimes the protagonist is really the villain and the villain the hero (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicked_(musical)).
2) you can photoshop anything these days, so those photos are no solid proof of anything.
4) you use the term “yard” pretty loosely. all i saw were pine needles.
3) besides that, even if we DID do it, we could never imagine that the recipients of the prank would let their 2 year old daughter run amuck in a sea of sharp objects where she could easily trip and poke her eye out. not to mention all the potential paper cuts from taking off the post-it notes. lord knows i’ve got them all over my fingers..
First…..let me be the first to apologize to “Baby Jesus” and family for the behavior of those renegade (former) friends of yours.
Second…..I can’t speak for the Childs family – nor Parker, but as far as Ben Salmon is concerned – he is 23 years old and we CAN NO LONGER BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM AND HIS ACTIONS – PRAISE THE LORD!
Third…..I think your yard is beautiful. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder – and you don’t have to mow pine straw!
Fourth…..it is perfectly normal to let your children play with sharp objects, subject them to dangerous chores, play in the streets, sniff school glue (and magic markers!), ride bikes with no helmets…..etc…. That is how we raised our children. James will eat a lot of crow when he has his own “CHILD”!
Fifth….you don’t need friends that use the word amuck.
“Que sera sera” to your (former) friends.
I knew I should have never told you about this, Mom.
I was never really loved as a child, as one can see. Maybe that’s why I have this problem.
really mrs. s?
1) after all we’ve been through, you’re going to defend the man who makes fun of rose hill any chance he gets?
2) daniel also doesn’t need friends who use the phrase “eat crow” or “que sera sera”
3) i have a feeling your yard may be next..
Ha ha ha. That is hilarious! I would’ve said to wait a couple weeks and those forks would’ve been covered in no time by some more pine needles.
Ben – you were (are) loved as a child…..it was just “tough” love. We knew if the 500 lb. tv fell on your head because you were playing with the controls….you wouldn’t do it again. ……God’s providence………
James – your empty threats about our yard does not frighten me – as our yard is 2+ acres and you’ll need a LOT more forks to prank us. AND….you would have to find your way to the “back woods” by yourself – remembering that the World’s Largest Frying Pan is not visible at night and therefore Rose Hill’s one landmark will not help you navigate to our home. Also…..if our dogs (Rivers and Jaco) don’t “eat you up first”, we are armed with FIRE ANTS – so….bring it on!
And PLEASE……don’t insult me with your vocabulary challenge. You simply copied my creative insult – how original.
As far as Daniel making fun of Rose Hill – he’s just ignorant. You know what they say…..”the greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.” So, it’s a good thing that Daniel is a talented musician and makes beautiful babies, although I might have to credit Danielle with that. Don’t make fun of his shortcomings…..”why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
And, IF you (Ben or James, because I know those sweet girls Lindsey and Callie would never dare) are thinking about revenge for my comments either in the way of pranks or retort……..remember that revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind!
Mom. You are SO right. I can’t thank you enough for the insight that you have shown me through your truthful comments. The refinement I have received was much needed and appreciated.
The only thing I wish to do now is simply repeat the last line of your comment for everyone to see.
…remember that revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind…
Be on your guard James, Callie, and Linds. If we know Daniel as well as we think (which I think we do), then according to this, revenge will be coming our way soon.
Let me first say that you, Miss Kim, might be one of the funniest, wittiest women I’ve ever met. Please keep the comments coming, so I can laugh out loud all by myself at my desk.
And Ben, I still feel slightly bad about the prank : ). Try not to be angry and yell. I didn’t say I wouldn’t ever do it again, I just said I felt a little badly.
I suppose at the end of the day, “I am a friend of God”, so that’s all that matters.
Funny funny…
Hey, I saw a flickr picture that says “Observation Park at RDU”… Is that just like a park where you can go watch planes take off and stuff? Is it free?
you are dead to me linds.
I couldn’t agree more with Lindsay….I started writing a few replies this morning and realized that I have nothing more to add. Mrs. Salmon’s is hilarious. And totally right on.
But just to make the record straight, I have never said one bad thing about Rose Hill. I only make fun of Ben saying Rose Hill….and for the way he says oil…and allot of other words.
Thank you for your sympathy Mrs. Salmon and Lindsay.
Oh and Zach, the observation park is so cool, you should totally go check it out. It is free. I think it closes sometime after sunset. There’s a little playground area and some picnic tables too.
Do you know how to go in the back entrance to RDU…like off of Lumley rd? Go in that entrance, and then follow the signs to the park….it’ll be about 1 mile on your left.
have fun.
lindsey, aren’t you glad daniel agrees with you even though he can’t spell your name? and isn’t it funny that he makes fun of how ben talks when he doesn’t even know that “a lot” is two words? i wonder what’s more important in life, pronunciation, or spelling..
you tell me danyel.
James, I thought I was dead to you. Glad that’s not the case.
Daniel, perhaps “former friends” is accurate, as you continue to spell my name with an “a” and not an “e”. (nice observation James).
I hope we can settle our differences in the near future, otherwise seeing you might become a bit awkward.
That’s all for today!
…remember that revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind…
…remember that revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind….
…remember that revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind…..
Oh, Lindsey, for a minute I thought I saw a work of God’s grace and conviction in your life but then it vanished. So sad.
Babe, I was trying to save you by pointing out that you spelled “lindsey” and “a lot” wrong, but they got to you first. We’ll keep doing spelling drills at home and you’ll get it, don’t worry.
I also like the way that ben says “ryan” with 1 syllable and “jill” with 2. Oh, and, Ben, shouldn’t you be rehearsing for “somewhere over the rainbow” right now instead of commenting on revenge?
Mrs. Salmon, I only hope to be the kind of mom you are, full of grace and wisdom, when I grow up.
danielle, that comment takes the cake. you have silenced me from here on out (probably).
Ben…..you need to get your own lines! I know it is difficult son, but you really must cut those proverbial apron strings and stand on your own two feet!
And just so you all know…Ben takes after his Dad – they both steal my lines and try to take credit – sort of like James did. I did notice that James made no comments to me or about me. Good boy, James!
Daniel, Danielle and Lindsey – thank you for your kind comments. You all are invited to Rose Hill (and White Lake) any time. And bring the babies and Callie!
Hey…..where has Callie been through all this? Callie – just because James has sort of pledged a vow of silence (which I highly doubt) doesn’t mean you can’t speak and defend yourself! Submissiveness does not mean silence!
Danielle – I have tried and tried to correct Ben’s enunciation-but to no avail (sorry James for the vocabulary- that means I failed). I will admit that Ben’s “accent” is a result of the culture in which he was raised. We teach ESL in our church – to our own members! My suggestion to you is to keep up the spelling drills with your husband and daughters (when they are older) – and keep Ben away from those English/grammar lessons.
Lyndsey – your remorse is precious and obviously heart-felt. My prayer is that you will have some influence on Ben so that he will turn his life around before it’s too late! I just don’t know where we went wrong! And it’s not just us….I have been a member of a support group “MOMS” (mothers of mad sons) for years now – and the number of mad sons is increasing at an alarming rate. Our President, a Mrs. Childs from the Wake County area, says that a new study recently offered some proof that the behavior of these mad sons may be an environmental issue. It seems that the more they are surrounded by warm, loving, sharing and caring friends, the more those friends become the target of their (mad sons) anger via evil pranks, cruel jokes, etc……PRAY FOR US AND OUR SONS!
Hope you all have a blessed day!
It’s Lindsey, mother. LIndsey.
Speaking of Lindsey – my special friend, I can’t apologize enough for the offenses shown to you in this thread. My heart hurts as I know yours does now. I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling as countless friends continue to wrong you in this way. As your dear friend, I petition to end this thread before things spiral out of control any further.
And for the record I’m not mad… Just misunderstood.
Bin you are so right – we need to end this thread before things get worse.
Danyil – thank you for the use of your blog.
Danyell – again, I apologize for any offenses of my son
Jaims – hope you are still my friend
Cally – hope to see you soon
Lyndsay/Lindsay/Lyndsie/Lindsie/LIndsey – please pray for Ben
Until the next prank…………or ballgame.
Sayonara! (bye James)
thanks to my dear, precious, sweet, and INNOCENT daughter-in-law, callie, i found out about this hilarious prank, and today i was blessed to see and hear the details and ensuing comments for myself. i must first say that i sincerely apologize to the adorable renstroms for my son’s actions, however, i am sure they will get sweet revenge soon and i look forward to seeing it on the blog.
i have to confess that james derives his sick sense of humor from me and his prank-finesse from his father, who has pranked more people in his life than james or ben probably ever will. i also want to say how proud i am of my son for his excellent grammar and spelling, and that he’s not ashamed to correct even his dearest friends when they slaughter the english language.
james, please continue to be true to yourself, even if you are a little twisted due to your upbringing, because we love you just the way you are, and more importantly, so does callie. she is very submissive and i am proud of her for that. we must give her credit for standing by her man, and from what i heard, she and lindsey (did i spell it right?) tried to minimize the damage as much as possible. they knew that the renstroms didn’t have plans the next morning that would prevent them from the 2-hour clean-up. i am so proud of you girls for being that considerate.
in closing, i want to say that life is so boring without these schemes aganst our friends. it’s what keeps us going, besides of course the strength of the Lord (seriously).
daniel, i will be happy to assist in your retailiation cuz i’m bored with seeing cupcakes on the blog. i CAN keep a secret, so don’t worry about my blowing it, okay? I’ll stay tuned, so don’t disappoint.
finally! a mom who actually defends her son…thanks ma! i must say i am a little wary of the offer to help avenge the renstroms, but all things considered, this has been the most encouraging and mature post thus far.
as for the cupcake comment, well said. we will soon remedy the situation..
It’s my turn,
I’m not as witty as the rest of you, Linds got all the smarts and talent for the Parker family. I would have come myself to clean up the Renstoms yard if it had not been for the gas shortage.
Daniel and Danielle please forgive me for laughing uncontrollably when Lindsey told me of their prank (pretty good I must say, wish I had thought of that one). Here are a few things I taught Lindsey over the years:
1. Tell on your friends when they try to persuade you to do naughty things.
2. Call me and I’ll pick you up, no questions asked.
3. Never use plastic, it’s so casual.
4. Toilet paper in the trees makes a bigger mess, especially after the spinkler comes on.
5. Let us in on the fun and games so we can plan accordingly.
6. Laugh till your belly hurts.
Looks like Lindsey forgot about all this wisdom her mother handed down.
What fun goes on in Raleigh, wish we were there.
To the Childs, Bush and Salmon famlies what can we come up with to top this?
You are all dear to us.
Mom, you are too funny. Thanks for keeping this thread alive.
As for your “life” lessons, I never was a very good listener: sorry for the incessant mumbling when you told me to stop talking all those years, hahaha.
However, I’ve been applying lesson # 6 (laugh till your belly hurts, or giggle rather) quite well. In fact, it landed me on the curb for several minutes until I could regain composure-thankfor waiting for me Callie. Some people take pranks a little too seriously, (wink wink).